When my daughter Isabella was born late last year, I spent almost every single moment carrying her in my arms. Lifting her. Setting her down. Holding her. Giving her alllll my love. That of course, hasn't changed. However, as a result of all that original activity and because I was unaware of the excess weight I was putting onto my thumbs and the tendons that help them to function, I ended up with a relentless injury called De Quervain's tendinosis, which has yet to heal to this day (she's ten 1/2 months old).

As a result of this injury, I have had to discontinue my advanced power yoga practice as well as my other interest -- Muay Thai -- which means no more handstands, jump backs, side planks, punching bags... things like that. At first, I felt depressed at the state my body was in. Although I understood that I needed to be patient with my body as it recovered from having made and delivered a baby girl, I was depressed and frustrated that I wasn't able to care for my body the way I was used to caring for it - via hardcore daily Yoga and Muay Thai. I also wasn't able to care for my family the way I truly wanted to - I felt like an invalid. In the mornings I would wake to find my hands stiff and in pain. By the end of the day, after cleaning and cooking, caring for Isabella, etc... I could hardly move them. Mentally, I thought that I had no more energy to give to a yoga practice. I also found that my ego disliked the idea of doing any yoga practice that wasn't the usual intense, cardio-activating practice I was accustomed. It was a negative spiral for a while.

Finally though, and only after my first 8-hour sleep in months 6 months haha, I went to my mat with discipline and an internal mantra/repetitive thought:

In the absence of the norm, I found myself becoming more creative with my yoga flows. I became acquainted with new poses, old poses, different parts of my body and especially my breath and thought patterns. I created yoga practices for myself which did not need to include my hands on the floor. I started "teaching in my mind" as if I were teaching other students who happened to have the same type of injury as myself - hands, wrists, or otherwise. As a result, I began to heal. Not only my hands (which are getting there with the help of a therapist) but my mind and soul too.

I realize now that I was being harsh with myself, literally inflexible and unbending. I was so used to a certain "Ashley" and certain "Yoga style" that I had been unwilling to accept my limitations, body, or self. How sad is that? How much time, I wonder, did I waste not practicing yoga simply because I couldn't do what I wanted? How silly!?

After meditating and reflecting on it all, I've forgiven myself and I am now ready to finally share what I have learned from this whole experience. And here it is:

"Zen Gold" by Hartwig HKD license under CC BY-ND 2.0

I WANT TO SHARE with you here a few resources that I have either recently come across or have been an avid user/follower of now for years. For example, meet Laruga Glaser! She is a beautiful, talented, and super-flexible/inspirational yogini. Was she born that way? I don't know. What I do know is that she has been a yogini for many, many years. Which means, that her beautiful practice is a complete and total result of what? HER PRACTICE. It's hers. Not yours. Not mine. Hers. And yet, although I will probably never be able to do all the poses that she does, no matter how much effort and energy I put into my practice, I can still admire her. I can still try to emulate her in my own ways, in my own practice - by practicing often and with discipline. And so can you! 

The following video is of Laruga teaching Ashtanga Yoga. For more about Ashtanga yoga, consider reading one of my previous blogs such as "What is Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga". However, for now, consider watching the flow for at least the first 10-15 minutes. It may seem repetitive - because it is. That is one of the defining factors of Ashtanga Yoga. Within those repetition, your mind is given an opportunity to stop jumping from one thing to another - your practice becomes a moving meditation. 

I PRACTICED with the above video yesterday while Isabella was playing with a Tibetan singing bowl next to me (video below). :) Even though I have studied at the K.PATTABHI JOIS ASHTANGA YOGA SHALA, I don't usually practice Ashtanga Yoga as my main practice, so I too had to look up at the video some... and you may have to look up sometimes as well. NO WORRIES! Oh, and you'll also notice the use of numbers (though you may not have known they were numbers) said in a strange language. That language is Sanskrit. No worries again! You don't have to learn Sanskrit to practice yoga, but you will eventually learn some words such as CHATURANGA! haha as a by-product of your practice. Yoga is Sanskrit too --> योग ;)

After viewing the video, maybe you decide that you love it, or maybe you think Ashtanga isn't for you. That's totally okay! But please don't turn your back on it too quickly... or any type of yoga, really. My advice before you give up on a yoga style is to:

• Considering trying a few more times
• Consider trying a different teacher
• Consider going to a different class

​You never know... that third class or different teacher might be all you need to fall in love with Yoga and change your life for the best! I'd love to hear from you, dear Yogis. Please, let me know about your own experiences!

In this video, you can hear Laruga counting out the asanas :) You might also notice me modifying poses because it hurts my injured hands. Modifications are totally fine! Please don’t ever feel ashamed to modify your poses like I do, or by using a block or a strap. We were all beginners once.

Yoga can be practiced by anyone, whether young, old, very old, healthy or sick. Even so, the way in which a young person is taught will differ in manner from the way in which an old or sick person will be taught. Therefore, each student must be considered as an individual and taught at a pace that is suitable for their situation in life.

All students commence their instruction in the same manner in which on the first day of class they are taught Surya Namaskar A, followed by Padmasana and deep breathing, and a few minutes of rest to conclude their first day of practice. The next day after Surya Namaskar A has been performed, Surya Namaskar B is taught, and one then again concludes in the same method as the previous day, with Padmasana, deep breathing, and rest. After both of the Surya Namaskar have been learned correctly, each of the various asanas are added one by one. When one asana is correct, the next one is taught. Depending on the age and ability of the student, it can take anywhere upwards of 3 months to learn the primary series.

The format of the practice always remains the same; one always begins practice with Surya Namaskar, concludes with Padmasana and rest, and the various asanas gradually fill the space between these two poles. Learning yoga in this traditional manner benefits the student on many levels. It is possible for one to gain independence and confidence in their sadhana (spiritual practice), as well, something truly becomes one’s own when they learn it by heart. It is through the daily practice of Ashtanga Yoga that we draw it into ourselves, understand it, and become proficient in its methods, thereby reaping its wide range of benefits. For this to be accomplished, a slow, dedicated and patient approach is best.

Vinyasa means careful linking of breath and movement. The Surya Namaskar and each of the successive asanas are comprised of a particular number of vinyasas. Vinyasa creates heat in the body, which warms the blood. The warmed blood passes through the muscles, nerves, internal organs and glands, removes toxins from them, and carries them out through the sweat. This is how the process of purification begins. It is important that the student does not rush ahead doing too many asanas, and allows the body to be gradually purified. If one rushes ahead quickly, it is possible for sickness to occur, rather than purification. It is important that the teacher checks to ensure that the position of the body and the movement of breath are correct in each asana before moving the student forward so that one may reap the proper benefit of Ashtanga Yoga.

Because of the difficult nature of remembering and mastering the various vinyasas, on Fridays and Sundays, group guided classes are taught, in which all the vinyasas are counted out loud and all students follow along together accordingly.

The method of Yoga taught at KPJAYI is that which the ancient Sage Vamana in his text called “Yoga Korunta” has told. Although many books on Yoga have been written, Vamana is the only one who has delineated a complete practical method. In the 1920’s, the Yogi and Sanskrit Scholar, T. Krishnamacharya traveled to Calcutta where he transcribed and recorded the Yoga Korunta, which was written on palm leaves and was in a bad state of decay, having been partially eaten by ants. Later, Krishnamacharya passed on these teachings to the late Pattabhi Jois, whose school continues to teach this method today.

www.kpjayi.org
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As cliché as it sounds, the power is within. I like to say, in an Ashtanga yoga practice, it’s about having an in-body experience. We begin with what is tangible, and accessible, our bodies, and often before we have considered entering into daily practice we haven’t become intimately connected with what houses our souls. I remember when I first began my yoga practice at Devi Yoga in Sedona, AZ... a primarily Ashtanga yoga studio; I was amazed at what took place as I settled into the body. Through the power of the breath and the conscious connection centered on each movement the synergy created was a revelation. Ah-ha. The gateway to greater liberation is through the body revitalized by conscious breath. Of course there isn’t only one way to freedom. However, from this realization the power of practice started to unfold. Layer upon layer we lighten up, whether it manifests in our body, or better yet, in our hearts and minds, never forgetting the added element bringing in a sense of discovery and curiosity in the process. 

Lightening up isn’t only about fancy entries and exists out of postures. It entails bringing a sense of devotional wonder into our hearts through the experience of yoga. Each conscious step we take to dive inside through this physically demanding practice will begin to shed the unnecessary. What holds us down, what blocks our light, through observation comes clarity. “Mind medicine,” as Guruji would say. ​

Your reason for wanting to practice yoga or your reason for currently practicing yoga is not important.  The important thing is that you have overcome previous prejudices and postponements to try yoga for yourself.  You have overcome the biggest obstacle. 

Perhaps you are doing yoga to develop a healthy body or a beautiful body.  There is nothing wrong  with this motive and the practices of yoga will help you attain this.  All I say to you is: “Be aware of your mind.  Do you feel more peaceful?  Have you developed greater concentration?”  If so, then through personal experience you will know that yoga practices have a beneficial influence on the mind as well as the body. 

Perhaps you have some illness or body ailment, which you want to eliminate and have come to yoga as a last resort. Whether it is physical or mental, it does not matter, for yoga can help, as the very essence of yoga is tied up with these faculties.

Many people have unsatisfactory relations with wife or husband, friends or colleagues.  The practice of yoga will help to put your relationship on a sure, positive basis.  Remember, a relationship improves in depth of understanding according to the level of self-awareness.  Yoga aims at enabling you to know yourself and to see your foibles and nature in others.  In this way, understanding arises and through this your personal relationships will improve. 
 
Perhaps you have heard that yoga can improve or rectify sexual relationships.  Yes, this is true and is a perfectly good reason for starting yoga, especially since inadequate sexual relations are often the cause of much unhappiness and frustration.  A body that is perfectly healthy and efficient and a mind that is tuned to a high point of sensitivity and calmness, as they are through yoga practices, increase one’s ability to enjoy sexual union or remove the obstacles that at present make it impossible.

Maybe you have religious beliefs, but without any spiritual experience.  Or maybe you have no religious beliefs and you seek spiritual experience.  Or perhaps you have no belief in the existence of spiritual experience, but have come to yoga merely to see what it is all about.  It does not matter – you have come.  That is the main thing.

What I am trying to say is that whatever your situation in life, whatever you believe or do not believe, whatever you want from life, yoga will help you because it changes your whole being and hence your relationship with and attitude to life itself. 

The ultimate point of yoga and my yoga classes is to expand your consciousness, to open your eyes to the vast number of things around you, of which at present you are unaware.  It was Shakespeare who said: “There are more things in heaven and earth… than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”  We must keep our minds open to new possibilities.  It is yoga that shows us a way. ​

I’m going to make the assumption here that you are reading my blog because you either have a yoga practice or are interested in beginning one.  But for now, let’s say there are two types of people in this world. Those that practice yoga and breath work, and those that do not.  When you’re the person that practices pranayama or yoga on a daily basis, no matter what level, and then you find you can't breathe through your nostrils because they are clogged up, or that you can't hold a downward dog due to a headache, well, it’s a little frustrating, don't you agree?  Especially since yogi’s KNOW from experience that yoga postures can help heal us… It's tempting to push ourselves but it is so very important that we do not.  It's important that we set our ego’s aside for a moment and remember that yoga postures can still be done very gently, and the result is just as beneficial because it still helps us start moving the negative energy and toxins out of our body while allowing the positive, healing energy to flow more freely through our body. 

Whether you are a regular practitioner or not, it’s very important that while you are ill, that you give the body plenty of time to REST. When an illness has happened, now I am speaking very generally because it will vary a little bit depending on what the problem was, but when an illness has happened, if you allow the body to recover, it will.  But if we keep doing things that will challenge our body, pushing it back to the edge of illness, then the recovery process will take much longer.  So the very most important thing first in healing yourself is REST.  

Here's a thought:  So often I have people say to me, “Oh but I can't rest, I have to take care of my family, I have to go back to work, etc…” In my case, I originally thought to myself, “Oh, but I can't rest, I need to explore Budapest!!”  We know it may really feel like we have to do those things, however if we go too soon, we're just going to end up sick again or continue to be sick.  This applies to injuries as well.  And this happens so often to people we know doesn't it?  Let’s assume that once in our lives, we ignored the number one principle of getting well, REST.  Let’s assume that we went on about our business, forcing our bodies to continue.  Did we continue our work or yoga practice or exploring the world at our highest level?  Or, did we instead live our life at an inferior level?  In other words your performance at work while ill might not have been very good because your head was pounding.  Or your way of taking care of your family might not be very good because you find your fever makes you sit more often than standing.  So if you think about it, the people you work with, the world around you and your family might appreciate it much more if you rested and then could be fully present in the incredible being that you are, without the illness.  Right? So... REST. Selfishness while being selfless ;) 

We start the second step now, which is checking in with our body in order to determine the level of physical rest that is needed to heal ourselves.  And you do this by becoming aware of the nature of your natural breath.  With time, as you develop a familiarity and relationship with your breath, you will learn that this is truly your life force and the one thing that determines how good you feel in your life.  Your breath will tell you the story of what’s happening within your mind or body. If you find that you can not breathe easily and smoothly, then your body or mind is still under a lot of stress, and if this the case maybe it’s not time to even do any physical yoga postures yet.  Maybe you need to REST completely.

However as you start to feel better, there are certain types of yoga postures that would be helpful depending on what kind of illness you have, and what your constitution is, and your state of balance and imbalance.  And those are all the things that can be determined and assisted with through yoga and Ayurveda or through a teacher like myself or Zac Occhiline for example.  (If breathing consciously is not something you are familiar with, then I suggest finding a knowledgeable teacher; someone that has good experience working with people recovering from illness.  I will suggest here a teacher that I have a deep respect for, Zac Occhiline  of 7 Centers Yoga Arts Academy in Sedona, AZ.)

So, to begin for myself today, I started with simply breathing… A place to start with getting to know your breath is to pause now, stop what you are doing, and take 12 nice, slow, conscious, deep breaths.  And then at the end of it, just smile to yourself without any judgment.  It's a simple practice that puts you in touch with your body and mind... that allows you to consciously check in with your level of physical or mental stress.  Whether you found that it was easy and you are ready for a gentle asana practice, or whether you found it difficult to take 12 deep breaths and that you feel more apt to maybe start with six or four or whatever feels appropriate for you and that realize you should probably not begin an asana practice today; either way I bet you feel differently than you did when you first sat down. Remember, that what you're looking for is the ability to just breath smoothly and with a sense of calm... Without force… Very calm, smooth, easy breaths. 

I practiced this simple breath check-in before writing this blog, and I realized that despite my clogged up nostrils I can breathe pretty smoothly just sitting here, even if I have to open my mouth. So afterwards I began a simple and gentle hatha practice of poses that I knew would help me with certain ailments I was experiencing.  In my case it is basically impossible for me to do any yoga asana at the moment besides deep breathing while in Childs Pose, Marjariasana (Cat/Cow), Downward Dog, and a few heart opening poses that I find a little more difficult to describe with the written word at this time, as well as Lion Pose to ease my sore throat.

And that's okay. ​