I had a dream about my grandmother a few nights ago... I dreamed I was back in Moffat and talking to my grandpa or something ... like I was back home and living there... and then I became aware that she was there and the place was as it used to be when she was happy and healthy... bright, clean, home, full of music.  I started to hug her and then cry a lot and tell her that when she died I fell apart and that she can't/couldn't/mustn't die again, that she can't leave me.... she said that I really did fall apart when she died (which kind of hurt my feelings and my ego which apparently even appears in my dreams) and then I told her I couldn't live without her and I started cleaning the house lol like if I kept it clean for her then she wouldn't die. But while I was cleaning and cleaning, she still died again... and I looked at her lying on her bed in her bedroom all peaceful like and then I fell apart again on the inside and promptly woke up. Kinda sucked but it was nice to hug her and see her in my dreams, so there's that.  

After that dream I became intensely aware of my attachments, my ego, my future and my past.... my feelings... the manifestations of which are subconsciously playing my body like it's a musical instrument. I've been sitting with it now for a few days... letting it unfold in its own special way... watching it all.

This leads me to another thought and subject... attachments... the ego.... desires:

I came across an interesting article by Paulo Coelho today... you know, the famous author of the classic book, "The Alchemist".  In the article he quotes and transcribes work from Carlos Castaneda... and following are some of what he complied in the article featured in Ode Magazine.

Energy is the search for freedom
To seek freedom is the only driving force I know. Freedom to fly off into that infinity out there. Freedom to dissolve; to lift off; to be like the flame of a candle, which, in spite of being up against the light of a billion stars, remains intact, because it never pretended to be more than what it is: a mere candle.

The energy of silence
When we are quiet, we realize someone (or something) is trying to teach us. Whenever we manage to stop our inner dialogue, something extraordinary happens in our lives. We discover things we never thought of consciously but are there, ready to help us. So the really difficult part is managing to attain silence -- our head is always filled with songs, lists, things to do, worries, news in the papers and mathematical calculations of our financial possibilities. If we manage to stop this useless flow of reflections that leads us nowhere, then everything becomes possible.

If you haven't had a chance to read this quintessential modern day classic definitely pick it up. It's a quick but delightful read regarding the 'hero's journey.'

When pondering my own journey, inspired by The Alchemist, I came to the realization that there's really no need to seek out so much. In the last several months I've been experimenting, researching other practices, but then in the end... I wonder why?  When I think back to when I began the practice of Ashtanga Yoga, in truth, it found me, I didn't find it.  So, there it commenced... my journey within the confines of this challenging path embarked. Why do I need to seek out more?

The ego feeds on wanting more, and more.

I remember when I initially stumbled upon my first Ashtanga Yoga class... subtlety, I was blown away. In an instant I knew this was for me... and, it radically changed my life, and perspective. Of course, the longer one practices asana it becomes only a small part of the journey. So, I've come to a place where my daily Ashtanga Vinyasa practice and Yoga Sutra study is enough. They both go hand in hand... and geesh... studying, practicing, contemplating the Yoga Sutras alone is a task in itself.  And, if something comes along, and presents itself to me, chiding me to pursue it, then so be it. 

However, presently, what is right in front of me, at this moment, is enough... it's more important that I delve deeply into one practice vs. skimming the surface of several other practices... and well, isn't it true that at the bottom of every well there is the same Truth anyway? And, isn't it enough that I continue to listen to my own inner voice while implementing the tools already present? It's time to continue digging this well, and honestly, it's the deepest well I've dug thus far... why look anywhere else?  And, it's not really about having a narrow minded focus... but, the way I see it... like I have said before... if something comes along and finds me, then I'll be open to it... until then... I'm perfectly happy with what's before me...

Be Grateful To Everybody

If we were to make a list of the people we don't like -- people we find obnoxious, threatening or worthy of contempt -- we would find much about ourselves that we can't face. If we were to come up with one word about each of the troublemakers in our lives, we would find ourselves with a list of descriptions of our own rejected qualities.  

We project these on the outside world. The people who repel us unwittingly show us aspects of ourselves that we find unacceptable, which otherwise we can't see. Traditional lojong teachings say it another way: other people trigger the karma we haven't worked out. They mirror us and give us a chance to befriend all of that ancient stuff we carry around like a backpack full of granite boulders.

"Be grateful to everyone" is a way of saying that we can learn from any situation, especially if we practice this slogan with awareness. The people and situations in our lives can remind us to catch neurosis as neurosis-to see when we've pulled the shades, locked the door, and crawled under the covers."
Works Cited:
(Comfortable With Uncertainty)

Are you taking Triphala?  If not, then once you learn a little something about this Ayurvedic wonder herb, you just might change your mind.

When first introduced, I took Triphala in capsule form, now however, I've graduated to ingesting it in powder form.  I say graduated, because it does NOT have a pleasant taste.  Not at all.  But somehow, I've gotten used to the flavor. 

Anyway, take a look at some of the amazing benefits of Triphala!

TRIPHALA

Triphala, one of the most popular herbal preparations in the world. Triphala is used to help appetite and digestion, increase the number of red blood cells, and aid in removal of offensive fat in the body. Triphala can be used to clear congestion and headaches. Other claimed benefits include helping maintain normal blood sugar levels, as well as improvement in skin tone and colour. Triphala prevents aging, imparts immunity and improves mental faculties. It helps to detoxify the liver, restore digestion and purify blood. Triphala is widely used in a large number of medicinal preparations. It is also a laxative that rejuvenates the membrane lining the digestive tract and contributes to effective cleansing of the colon, a key condition in Ayurveda to maintaining optimum health.

Triphala is composed of three fruits, namely Harada (haritaki), Amla (amalaki) and Behada (bibhitaki). Triphala is available as a bulk powder or in tablets. The powder is generally used to make a tea, while the tablets provide a more convenient option for ministration. It helps in healing ulcers in cases of Pyoderma gangrenosum and in the treatment of Lipoma. Triphala can be used for constipation, colon tonification, gastrointestinal tract, tonifier, intestinal cleansing, digestive balancer, food assimilation support, serum cholesterol balance, better circulation, bile duct opener, sluggish peristalsis, antioxidant, headaches, kidney support and liver support. To help your skin make the most of Triphala's cleansing power, avoid eating too many heavy, deep-fried foods or rich desserts. 

Triphala, being a made of all three, is therefore balanced, making it useful such as within cleansing, to remove the toxic quality of a substance formula for everyone including more sensitive type individuals and vegetarians. Triphala is also widely taken for all eye diseases including the treatment of redness of the lining of the white part of the eye, progressive myopia, the early stages of glaucoma and cataracts. Steep one tablespoonful of the powder or six capsules select in an 8 ounce glass of water overnight. Taken in this way for at least three months, Triphala becomes an herbal eye tonic. Triphala includes the three tastes that pacify the fire element--bitter, sweet and astringent.  Triphala helps pacify Pitta and decreases the skin's vulnerability to photosensitivity.

Triphala provides overall support for the substance that aids digestion function and helps ensure that the digestive tract works at the optimal level. Triphala aids in digestion, relieves constipation, and helps regularises the digestive system.  Triphala rejuvenates the digestive tract membrane and contributes to effective cleansing of the colon. Triphala prevents aging, give immunity, and improves mental faculties. Triphala helps to detoxify the liver and purify blood. Triphala possesses anti-inflammatory and anti-microbial properties useful in the treatment of opthalmia. Triphala is used to prevent the development of a cataract, such as in diabetic patients. (source)

Below are ten golden benefits of triphala:

1. Firstly it acts as an antioxidant agent preventing any free radical formation in the body. This property of triphala helps it to prevent early aging signs like wrinkles and premature graying of hairs.
2. Secondly it is helpful in regularizing the normal peristaltic movements that are very essential for proper passage of food from one organ to another. This helps in aiding the digestion of food in proper amount of time.
3. Thirdly it acts as an appetizer as it helps in proper digestion of the food.
4. Fourthly it is very effective in stimulating the liver for its functioning to the optimized level. Moreover it also helps in secretion of the bile juices that are very much required for fat metabolism.
5. It is very much helpful in reducing the plaque formation in the arteries thereby reducing the risk of heart related problems caused due to arteriosclerosis.
6. Triphala helps in maintaining the proper levels of the cholesterol in the body thereby preventing us from fatal and deadly heart problems. It helps in curbing the formation of low density lipoprotein (LDL).
7. It is very much effective in suppressing any kind of infection or foreign invasion in the blood thereby helpful in preventing any kind of skin related diseases and other infectious conditions in the body.
8. It is helpful in maintaining the proper secretions of the endocrinal system that are responsible for maintaining the proper homeostasis in the body and aiding the proper functioning of all the physiological processes in the body.
9. It is an excellent remedy for eyes related problems and helps in improving the eye vision and strengthens the muscles of the eyes.
10. Last but not the least, being a mild laxative it helps in evacuating the bowel and therefore is considered as one of the best body detoxifier and facilitates expulsion of toxins out of the body. (source)​

For another good article on Triphala, click, here. Also, if you Google it, and do a bit of research, you'll find an abundance of information on this magical, miracle herb. Yay!